I am going to say 3 very un sexy things:
-Extreme financial stress
-F/T working Mom
-Mother in law
So, I have in a nutshell described what has come in between us and our D/S relationship and in between my enjoyment of blogging about our experiences. When our D/S relationship was last thriving I was not working F/T and our financial situation was not a situation. Why am I writing about this? I was reading over a couple of M's last posts and he wrote on our interactions 'slip sliding away'. Two things:
1. Mother in law in your house for extended period of time = bad for D/S. Unfortunately, we had just had some wonderful interactions prior to her arrival. Mother in laws are sex killers.
2. Larger than that though, when you are put in a fighting stance some things are automatically put in the background--and this aspect of our relationship, unfortunately has been one of them.
Am I a natural dominant. No. Would I naturally gravitate to this lifestyle? Maybe in my dreams but not necessarily day in and day out. Do I really enjoy it? Yes! Do I love the dynamic it creates? Absolutely!!!! Do I want more consistency? M, yes I do.
So what's the problem? At the moment I am a little ragged, I am holding a lot of shit together and I need the most luxurious of all things-time. I find I am most apt to this kind of relationship when I am relaxed, I have some time to myself and I have tolerable levels of stress. Frankly, working all the time does not allow me this luxury. Is everyone like this? I am sure not, but to get back where we were, where I am happily chaining you up and dreaming and scheming of ways to abuse you-well you need to fucking pony up and get me off this working train! I'll happily be a bossy bitch and we can get on with it.
How to get me back in black and whip in hand:
-Let me retire and take care of you-Our version of taking care would of course be the anti Dr Laura Schlesinger 'Proper Care and feeding of the Husband". My version would be "Proper Care and Whipping and Caging of Said Husband"
-Tell me about your day dreams don't just keep them in your fucking head. I find it sexy when you verbalize these things. It also reminds me when we stray too far
-Show appreciation for the millions of things I do everyday to keep this ship afloat and I will guarantee you things will start to happen.
That last point--one thing you read over and over (I am speaking to you men out there)...if you slather your woman with attention she will be more receptive and open up to you more. That is the absolute truth. It helps grease the wheels for me, that's for sure. When M starts to show appreciation it shows he is not taking me for granted and that he actually cares. It goes a long way and it makes me feel more receptive as well as more aggressive. When you whine about our relationship falling to the wayside because of my lack of dominance, well that is just not going to cut it in terms of getting it back. Buy some flowers, make an effort to remember dates or take me out on a date, take me out-act out your physical attraction to me and verbalize your needs.
This is a wicked two way street! I think as a submissive it is easy to sit back and think 'So and so doesn't want to dominate' It is not that hard to have some interaction, the larger question to me is how to maintain consistency in that interaction.
Oy! Speaking of work, I just took 30 minutes to write this post and I have a deadline to meet.
PS. Prior to writing this, I was just perusing some of M's posts, I love the way he writes. I love the commentary on this blog as well. It is extremely insightful to look at M's writings and have a better understanding of where he is coming from and to hear other's opinions.
