Annoyed

M is locked in his steel cage on with his hood on. I had a fairly grumpy day trying to prepare myself for a big trip, feeling as if I was doing double duty most of the day. I was looking forward to a discipline session this evening to blow off some steam as well as to say 'good bye' as I am going on an extended vacation and will be separated from M for most of the week. I find that I feel best after a discipline session when I am slightly grumpy or ticked off, it just seems to set the balances right.

After dinner I told M to go upstairs and undress. I shackled him facing the wall with his hands above him and his legs spread apart. I immediately paddled him and told him of my days frustrations. I then proceeded to whip him. Whipping seems to be the most enjoyable for me as the leather straps just have a way of moving through the air, landing on the skin. I always remember this one time we spent with a fantastic dominatrix. She showed me how to move it through the air without using too much arm, mostly using the wrist. Anyway, I find it graceful and relaxing.

After about 10 minutes of M writhing and comlaining he yelled 'Fuck' very loudly and forcefully at which point I instructed him to tell me what he was thinking. He said something to the effect of 'It's hard for me when we go so long between sessions" Clearly, not that into it. Now, my usual pattern would be deflation, but this just plain irritated me at which point I said " I feel you live in a fantasy and reality does not match up.". This on the heels of him telling me of some dream with three dominatrixes beating him.

So here is my point, it's my friggin' time table, not his. I find that weekly discipline sessions work for me. It is how I feel and also what our lives permit reasonably. This week I made demands and also sent a lengthy list of chores for M to accomplish in my absence to which he complained. You might say, well you should take him to task then. You may be right, but I prefer once a week or a time that is peaceful where I can dedicate time.

Honestly, I like this type of relationship but when faced when competing with a fantasy - seriously folks, its not going to live up, unless of course I am a pay for fantasy and not a live in, something other than just a wanna-be-dominant-wife (working on it all the time). I'm not complaining, I just get annoyed. It's always too little, too much, too something. If anything, it is that CB2000 that makes me feel better about this, when he acts like this I damn well know that that fucking cage is stuck on his dick until I let him out.

All said, I will let him sit up there in that locked steel cage and if I get over it I may just lock him up again and have sex with him, but that's a big maybe. MAYBE.